Who Am I?
I was her. Little did I know in 2015, that my life was about to turn completely upside down. I had just begun a new chapter of my life for the first time in 10 years that I didn't share with another person. So I did what I thought was productive and would elevate me to a stage of growth: I dove head first into being a workaholic. Voluntarily putting in sixty to seventy hours a week doing a job that I got paid MAYBE 45 hours for, came as second nature to me. It was my comfort zone. A safe place that I could be 'active' in my own world without wallowing in my sorrows. Monday through Friday, I was like a hamster on a wheel, running and hustling in an office, not realizing that I wasn't actually moving. My weekends involved deep porch sitting, several bottles of wine, and all of my favorite tunes blaring in my headphones until I passed out. It wasn't the healthiest lifestyle, but I considered it very tamed compared to the average thirty year old. I didn't bother anyone, I was the queen of problem solving and situation-handling at my job, and I didn't squander money on the weekends. I'm not rustling any feathers. So what could possibly be taken away from me? I was about to lose everything and didn't know it.
The Birth of Thoughts2Power
About 10 months into my counter-productive cocoon, I was doing my normal thing on a Friday evening at 6:30 pm (ninety minutes after the office closed), finishing up my to-do list for the week to set the weekend team up for smooth sailing, when I see the managers from our sister property pull in and head toward the locked office door. This can only mean one thing. You guessed it. This was my last day working for this company.
I was so confused.
Every weekly call, every email from my boss, every feedback review from my residents was nothing but positive. How did it come to this?
The oddest part about this scenario is that I remember this feeling like it just happened. I was devastated...but only for the rest of that Friday evening. The very next day, I recall looking in the mirror and speaking out loud:
"I have NO idea why these people don't think I can do the job, but I know that no one can outwork me when it comes to taking care of my residents. Those people I had the opportunity to serve, I will always remember. They're the first ones to give me purpose after losing what I thought was unconditional love."
In that very moment, I came to the realization that I had no idea what to expect next.
In my childhood, I got picked on. Good old fashioned bullying. In my early years, I got tripped in the hallway, kicked and pinched by the boy sitting behind me regularly, we can't leave out the bottlecap glasses. Not to mention skyrocketing to almost 6' tall by the time I finished seventh grade. Being excluded from the cool kids was the name of my game. So being 'rejected' back into a place of solitude in life at 32 years old with limited resources seemed...normal.
Until I realized that there was still more to lose.
I never had the urge to fight back against the people and things that tried to take away from me or belittle me. I felt better to just avoid them. At a very young age, I learned to not walk into the same situation twice if I could help it. So despite this layoff being the first of several things that were pulled from under me in the next 18 months, I never went back to finding solace in a routine that had already proven to be false security.
I was designing the playbook for Thoughts2Power and didn't even know it.
Rock Bottoms and Strong Foundations
Are Made of the Same Material
Over the next year, I focused on the one place where my progress couldn't be taken away from me: my physical health. It was all I had at this point. No job, no friends, by the grace of God - just enough resources to keep a roof over my head, food in my stomach, gas in my car, and a membership to a gym that I would soon discover would change my life. I felt mentally strong like never before. My daily habits - nonnegotiables - were iron clad. And I had no distractions.
Something Was Still Missing
God has always been in my life since I was a little girl. One of my first memories were helping my Mom set up the Sunday School books before Church every week. But as an adult, things never really got too personal between me and God. I had good morals, but He never came first in my life. It took me a few years after losing everything, but in hindsight I see that He LITERALLY moved everything in my life out of the way to show me that He was in complete control. This is also the point at which He named Thoughts2Power.
It All Began To Make Sense
One of the gifts of life that I will forever be grateful for is that no matter what industry I was in, I always had the opportunity to have a group of consumers to pour into and serve with the job I had. That is a blessing that I will never take for granted.
There's power in a pen and paper.
After four years of sinking like quicksand, to a solidifying foundation and things in my life beginning to stack brick-by-brick, I began to document my thoughts and feelings in the moments in my life that never got credit for mattering. The everyday stuff.
Soon, I began to realize through my sharing, that the average person met very similar crossroads in their daily lives and just chalked it up as a normal way of thinking.
Remember that gym membership that I managed to keep despite having to live off of canned tuna to afford my rent? Well, I became a trainer at that same gym 600 miles away and yet again, had an amazing community of people that I got to serve.
Thoughts2Power became a part of me. It was in my walk, my talk, my coaching. It allowed me to be transparent and have a voice of honesty and compassion for the growth of others.
It became my brand.
No Beginning, No End
My biggest lesson after reflecting on my life so far, is that everything that has happened to me since the moment I came into this world was relevant to the purpose that I've discovered through Thoughts2Power.
There's a reason for everyone's existence.
So what is stopping us from walking in it daily? Most people live their life chasing a dream or a goal. And then they get there (or they don't), and then what?
There's no way for us to create starting points and ending points within our lifespan. Most people try, but it actually turns out that very little of our journey is owned by us. Thoughts2Power has taught me how to add value to the little things in my life. Now, all I want to do is share it with as many people as possible. It is the most tangible, intangible thing in my life.
People deserve to have access to this mindset!
YOU deserve this!
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